Reblog if you want your followers to leave horrifically bad pickup lines in your askbox, anon or not

faraashah:

if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softy kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear 

(via hi)

digbysellars:

when ppl compliment u

image

(via goatblood)

isitweirdthatim:

This will literally make your day

(via goatblood)

sturmtruppen:

the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person

(via officialalltimelow)

anchors-awaysailor:

Things Girls Have To Do In The Shower:
-shave
-shampoo hair
-condition hair
-wash the face (have you ever tried to get makeup off)
-wash the body
-try to get conditioner out & fail to get it all out
-did i mention shave that takes a long time
-like summon satan and stuff

Things Boys Have To Do In The Shower:
-i dunno i think my brother uses soap sometimes

Don’t complain when my shower’s not 5 minutes long

(via xjellymonster)

glowing-fallen-angel:

homophobic:

sonically-gallifreyan:

im-an-assbutt:

Guys guys holy shit one day when we are all old and start to die on the news there’s going to be ‘last remaining person alive from the 1900’s has died’ BECAUSE ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE THE LAST PERSON ALIVE FROM WHEN THE YEARS BEGAN WITH A ‘1’ AND ITS PROBABLY GONNA BE A BIG THING THIS FEELS WEIRD

Ohmygod

obviously youre lookin for a competition and im winning

let the hunger games begin

(via xjellymonster)